julieruin:

my religion textbook said that sarcasm and irony are sins

aslytherinsuperwholockian:

rikkysworld:

theemurg:

fairyprincessthatbreathesfire:

classybowties:

promises-to-carry-on:

fortday:

boguskudos:

starvedstar:

enough-emensmansera:

patchworkpuppet:

glitchdoll:

catiematie:

parkwoodlane:

baxtersaurus:

thewrongkhristol:

rainbownotation:

Wear your fucking retainer you little shit

Practice your spanish because your cousins are gonna take a piss at you when you visit Mexico.

WAKE UP ON SATURDAY AND GO WITH YOUR MOM TO THE VET WITH DOBIE HE ISN’T COMING BACK U WILL MISS HIM SFM 

Excuse me. 

Don’t shave half your eyebrow off.

Whut?

You’re moving to Texas next year and you have to give up your dogs and move into a crappy apartment. So, you know. Be prepared.

Don’t worry about being too nerdy. It’s totally reasonable to want to be both an animorph and a member of the Adams Family.

Also, stop setting random ages as dates you have to have certain life events done by. It sounds stupid, but this will stop you from sitting up until midnight on your last day as a 15 year old crying…

Shut the fuck up and look in the mirror. You’re luckier in more ways than you can possibly imagine right now. Btw your best friend is a bitch. Instead of wasting your time trying to hold onto someone who doesn’t care about you, how about you pay attention to those who do while you still have them.

You’re going to graduate high school, take a few semesters of college, and become a waitress. Shit happens. Also, you are not going to turn into Eliza Thornberry in a year, no matter how obsessed you are with that show.

You are going to suffer, struggle, and hurt until the very end on your own but it’s going to make you appreciate people and everything so much more and you’ll finally come to understand that not all bad things or good things last forever. All things have to end. So you have to appreciate who and what you have while you’ve got them.

Remember Ireland.

Kay listen. Middle school sucks. Don’t look forward to it. High school gets a little better, but not enough. You’re going to meet a ton of people, some will be some of the greatest people you’ll ever meet and some will not. Don’t worry about the ones that aren’t because the ones that are will help you through it. You’re going to fall in love, not like in the movies. Not at all. But it’s wonderful. Know you’ve got some rough patches ahead, but you’ll make it through. You’ve got it good, sweetheart. 

Shit’s gonna happen. That much is for sure. But listen to me and listen good: You’ll be okay. I promise. (On a side note: That’s always the advice you’re going to give people. Because you’ve experienced enough shit storms to last a life time, so you know damn well what you’re talking about.) Also, you will cuss, in case you haven’t noticed. :P You’re a sarcastic bitch with great intentions, if people bother to take the time to get to know you. Now listen, middle school sucks for everyone. No way around that. But if you pay close attention, you made some of the best friends you’ll ever make in those hellacious 3 years. Those are the important ones. Forget about the rest. Now high school, it gets better. I can’t say it’s fast, but you’ll enjoy it. Sure, there’s still a lot of shit to come, but now you know who your friends are, who to trust, and who you just don’t give a fuck about. And those friends… well they’ll be your life line. Listen to them. Trust them. Breathe. You’ll make it out okay in the end :) Pinky promise.

Keep your head up. Shit is going to happen in 7th grade. It will change your life and it will suck. Then it will happen over and over. Stay strong. You can pull through it. And choir is actually a lot of fun. Don’t be sad that you will have to join.

Bad stuff is gonna go down before your 11th birthday. Keep calm about it. Don’t stress out and for the love of god please stop procrastinating :) Time will start to fly by so make the most of it.

Spend more time with MaKaila Steffes. She is going to die in fifth grade. Please. Be there for her when she needs it.
Go to church and keep on talking to God. Become part of Him as He is of you. He listens, and right now I, at 16, am having a bad connection. You need to be closer to him. Go talk to MaKaila and be her friend. Avoid lying at all costs, though you will do it and it will screw your life over. Be kind to everyone as bect you can be, middle school sucks- don’t become friends with Danielle, or better yet, help her through her mistakes. Kylie is a great kid, as is Shawnee, you’ll like them. Let your inner Disney shine. Start drawing now so that you don’t have so much catching up to do.

Oh, and by the way, please go to a news station, tell them that in 2011 Osama in killed (or come find me and I’ll go with you and tell them where to find it.) Here, have some powerball numbers, and soon we’ll be rich. 

And don’t go to Kylie’s house Thanksgiving 2010. It’s that Tuesday. Stay home with Bo instead, otherwise he’s going to be hit by a car and he will be killed, and trust me, it’s your fault.

People may think that you’re a freak, and you may have social problems; but that changes. You learn how to be social, and people stop calling you freak and instead call you weird.

Don’t worry lovie, you’re life will get great. Sure, some things will be horrible, but honestly? Everything will be better. You will see, you aren’t as big as a freak as you thought… well, ok, you are a freak, but there are others like you and you will learn to embrace your insanity. ^_^

Make sure not to let Ma and Pa’s fighting get to your head… Otherwise your mind will go to places it shouldn’t. 

You will find some amazing friends, so don’t feel bad seeing everyone in class never talk to you. 

Oh, and don’t worry about those little… feelings for girls. Because it will all turn out alright. :) <3

For the love of all things good and holy, do not poke the snapping turtle with a stick. 

chrispontius:

omfgerbgvdc

briannacherrygarcia:

gizmohall:

brodinsons:

sapfira23:

cute ♥

screams and cries because baby burrito hemsworth

His face!  It’s so Angry Mama Bird!  He’s all; “So help me, if anyone wakes this child!!”

“This is MY baby. MINE. No one else can touch her. Come near her and you get a Mjolnir to the FACE.”

Oh man, I fear what will happen when she’s old enough to date.